


For Which No Words Exist

by Bazylia_de_Grean



Series: Jewel in the Iron Crown [25]
Category: Pillars of Eternity
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:47:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22381306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bazylia_de_Grean/pseuds/Bazylia_de_Grean
Summary: With enough focus, everything can be a meditation.
Relationships: Thaos ix Arkannon/Original Character(s)
Series: Jewel in the Iron Crown [25]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1566019
Comments: 3
Kudos: 4
Collections: TTRPG Godsquad





	For Which No Words Exist

**Author's Note:**

  * For [aban_ataashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/gifts).
  * Inspired by [In Terms Of Flowers](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320103) by [aban_ataashi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/aban_ataashi/pseuds/aban_ataashi). 



> [ _Inspired by chapter 2_[Azalea & Holly](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22320103/chapters/53386720) _of Taashi's fic_ In Terms of Flowers.]

Nona often laughs when she is happy – a quiet, slightly breathless sound that someone else would treasure. For Thaos, it simply means he has done things right.

But sometimes, Nona is serious. Sometimes, there is this moment when she is looking at his face, her gaze following his features as if she wanted to commit them to memory without the help of her hands, for too soon she will no longer able to touch him. When she curls her fingers around his hair and closes her eyes, breathes in the scent of incense and drinks in his kiss, focusing deeply on here and now, as if she wanted to gather enough feelings to fill in the shape of him when he will be gone. And he knows he has done something too well, and therefore wrong.

But this, he can make right. Light kisses and careful touches, as if she was made of glass – she isn’t, not quite, but even adra can be shattered. Lingering kisses as his palms slowly draw unspoken words across her skin, words that perhaps never existed in any language. Constructing her memories cautiously, moment by moment, breath by breath. Giving her something that will help her go on even if it will hurt – but in the mortal world, the medicine is always bitter in the end.

He looks into her eyes and mind and sees her staring at him, looks into her soul and reflects the feelings burning there so she could sense them from him – a hall of mirrors, timeless, where nothing exists but the two of them... With enough focus, everything can be a meditation. In a way, he is grateful to Nona for giving him that much, at least.

Thaos does not really pray. He tried, at the beginning, but couldn’t. Not truly. Even when he wrote prayers that moved others to tears, to him, they sounded hollow. But they inspired the kith to great things. Sometimes, he still finds it amusing how much hope he can kindle in people despite having none for himself.

Like other believers, Nona has real faith, too, while he only has conviction. Sometimes, he envies her that. He has never experienced it – he already knew the truth about the world and his mission when he was growing up; he was brought up with that very purpose in mind. And now – he leads people, he honours the dead, he worships Woedica. None of these is a true prayer.

True prayers are supposed to grant strength and protect, to give hope in dark times, to express gratitude when life is brighter, to apologise for all weaknesses and wrongdoings. But if the memories he creates for Nona will serve the same purpose, then perhaps this way he is able to pray, after all.


End file.
